Bacon, bacon, bacon

Yesterday evening I was sitting in my box blind watching a few does and yearlings as the misty rain drifted in through the open windows. The deer suddenly took off and from the far end of the field came what I first thought was a black bear, which we don't have here. It quickly resolved into a hump-shouldered boar hog. A 7mm bullet to the neck bone made him stop what he was doing real quick. I couldn't get him loaded on my golf cart, so I had to go back to camp and get the tractor with the front end loader. He about filled up the bucket, with his nose touching one side, his hams came within a couple of inches of the other side. Sorry I don't have one of those new-fangled phones that send photos, but I'll have hard copies. Those lying scales back at the tractor shed said he weighed 224 lbs.----and I'm Twiggy's skinny brother. He smells so rank I'm not going to bother trying to clean him, but I will wire the head to a tree trunk so that when the scavengers are through with the remains, I can get the tushes, which are impressive. I thought about saving the scrotum skin and having a makeup purse made for my sister-in-law, but the last time I mentioned doing something like that to my wife, she said some things that made me have bad dreams for two weeks.

Place the hogs head next to an ant hill, place a washtub or large bucket over. Check every couple of weeks. The ants and bugs will clean it very nicely. It's how we get rid of bad neighbors. Oops. Did I just say that out loud?

When you have a prime, dead hog, it's only right that you spread the joy. There are some noisy folks who have lots of noisy dogs at one end of my place, so I give the dogs plenty of opportunity for take-out. (Deer legs and other bones, etc.) Let the eau de decomposing swine carcass drift down the prevailing breeze. I don't want to be selfish and keep it all to myself.